Casting Nets

Help me be like Peter. He was humble enough to listen and follow the instructions of Jesus even though Peter was the expert in the fishing business and had done everything correct all night and still caught nothing. Teach me to follow.

Clarity

Looking for clarity? It is a favorite pastime of mine. I always want evidence right here and right now. I seem to test God, asking proof of love and care. Yet I know that it is only in trust that I can open myself to the love God desires to give me. Calculating and measuring destroys love in human relationships and does not belong in our love for God either. When I desire clarity in deciding what God desires for me, I must be willing to let go of my need to know with certainty. God give me the grace to respond to love with love and to risk giving my life without certainty about the path. All I need is confidence that the path leads to God and God's perfect love.

Discernment Ideas

Discernment about God's will involves being aware of what leads me to loving relationships. At the end of the day it is good to be in touch with the movements of my heart during the day. What types of interactions led me to be more tolerant of others, more compassionate, more caring and more at peace with who I am? That will give me some clues about where I should be moving in my life.

God is Providing

God is providing a day to get things done, but mostly another day to praise God for all the wonders of life. The crocuses and daffodils are really popping up. It got cold again, but the green shoots remind me that life is hidden in the winter depths. God provides rest for the life of the plants and for me. God hides life where I least expect it. Open my eyes.

Thoughts on Thinking

I have been reading a book by Kathleen Norris called "Acedia and Me." It has some material early on about very old writings on spirituality. She pointed out that before we started talking about the cardinal sins, monastic writers spoke of "bad thoughts." It got me to pondering how the way I am thinking, the pattern of thought that I allow to continue in my head and heart, leads to some negative attitudes and then behaviors that are hurtful to others. I want to clean up my judgemental thoughts and my worrying. I have a feeling that will lead to more virtue in my life.

Waiting for God's Time

I have been expecting the leaves to turn and give me a feast for my eyes. Somehow that feast always also refreshes my soul. I get moved by the beauty and think about the vast beauty of the one who creates such a scene. But the leaves started to turn brown and fall without having that riot of color first. So I began to think that the summer was so dry we would not have a beautiful fall this year. Then a couple days ago on my way to school, I saw it. The trees on Pooles Creek Road and on Horse Branch Road were dazzling with color. "God Provides," I thought. It may not be on my time schedule but God provides. Fall is late this year.

I found a lesson in this for discernment. I often want to know God's desire for me and I want to know it NOW. But part of discernment is being faithful in the slow and boring times, in the dry and routine times. To be a good discerner, one must be patient and trust. If we are faithful and continue to look with both seriousness and quiet trust, we will see what God Provides.

Economy

What is this thing that is going on? I wait to hear the stock market report each day as though I can change something by listening. It has been so erratic and usually disappointing. I am trying not to fret about the future of retirement accounts but also to act responsibly. Is this a time to evaluate my lifestyle and live more simply? Is it a time when I should not expect comfort and privilege? I want to be mindful of those who have lost jobs and income. I want to cut back on my consumption of the resources of the earth. I want to be aware of those who will come after me and their needs so that I do not use up what they will need.

I hope I can trust that God will provide, perhaps not what I want but what I really need. God will provide an abundance of grace and courage.

Autumn and Discernment

I am still reflecting on the fleeting beauty of the autumn leaves. Is there a message in those leaves about discernment? What comes to me is that one of the obstacles to hearing God's call is clinging to a past or present experience. Once I determine that the beauty I have experienced in some special moment of my life is the ultimate purpose of my life, I close myself off to the next gift that God offers.

I can think of some exhilarating times of my life, but I know that they were just prelude or preparation for the next thing God gave me. Sometimes the "next thing" was not as attractive (at least initially) but growing into the person God was calling me to be meant letting go of the comfortable for the new.

Today, let's open our hearts and our ears to hear what God has planned for us.

Fall Colors

The leaves are turning and it is beautiful. The air is crisp, well maybe, cold. I am trying to slow down so that I can appreciate the beauty of this season. Is God telling us about beauty? Sometimes when I see the hillsides, I think of how beautiful the creator of all this is. Sometimes I reflect on how fleeting the beauty is. Winter is on the way and the leaves will fall. Is God storing up more beauty and reminding us that this is just a taste and that there is far more beauty in store for us? Today I want to appreciate all the beauty life offers but also to hold it with a light grasp. I want to allow God to give and take and I want to generously share whatever is beautiful in me life.

Mary's Birthday

Well we don't really know when Mary was born, but surely it is appropriate to rejoice in the fact that she was born. So today, we do.

Mary is an example for all of us. Whatever our vocation, we can look to Mary because she said "yes" to everything God asked of her. We can follow her example of believing that God would give her what she needed to live in the situations that were part of our life. She trusted that God would provide. We can try to carry the Word within us and bring Jesus Christ to the world. We can be brave in the face of great sadness and suffering as she was as she stood at the foot of the cross--faithful to her love of her son.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you.

Labor Day

Congratulations to all who labor in any way. Celebrate and rejoice.

I think of all the great statements about labor that come each year from our church. Labor is a source of dignity (or should be) and it is a participation in God's creative love. We are creating the world that God intends by our labor.

I also know that the way laborers are treated does not always respect their dignity nor promote the dignity of work. Today I pray that all laborers will be treated with respect and that work will be provided that reminds us of our dignity as co-creators with our God.

Anniversary of Vows

Years ago, on August 29 I made my first vows as a Sisters of Divine Providence. Five years later on the same date, I made my final vows. It has been quite a journey since then with many ups and downs and surprises. I have done things that I never thought I would do and accomplished things I did not know I was capable of doing. I have been places I never know I would go and found myself enriched and challenged in the process.

I am thanking God for all the good times and the struggles of my life and asking that I grow daily in the knowledge that God provides for me with tender love. I am also praying that I will love God more faithfully and deeply and that I will rejoice in knowing the nearness of God.

Blog reader, I ask you to pray with me today in gratitude and to ask God to bless us with more women who want to witness to God's providential care, to grow daily in trust of God and who desire to abandon themselves completely into God's loving hands.

Not Knowing

Today I reflected on the passage about being ready because you do not know the hour when the master will return. It seems threatening at first. But then, if the one who returns is Christ, then it is a time to await with joy. I tried to do that today.

Sometimes I look at all my failures and all the things I find difficult or at disappointments and interpret them as ways in which I am not good in God's sight. Or I think that they mean I am not as loved by God as I desire to be. It was so clear this morning that all these things are not measures of my love for God or God's love for me. Human success in work and relationships, while an important part of life, is not what life is about ultimately. Giving self to God and not placing the other things above that love is what life is for. I tried to rest for just a few minutes in the sense that God loves me even when I am experiencing disppointment or what seems to me to be failure. For a moment I was at peace with that.

I want to wait today for whatever way God desires to come into my life.

Comfort

I am still thinking about those titles of Mary. The past few days have had some serious disappointments and have been difficult. Today, everything seemed brighter and there were small things that made my day one of joy. The weather is cooler, my students remembered what we did in the last class, some faculty lingered over lunch. We shared about current events but laughed some, too. I talked with Sr. Leslie who is making final vows Saturday and agreed to entertain her little nieces while adults decorate a hall. All small things but comforting. So I am thinking of Mary as "Comforter of the afflicted." And I say, "Pray for us."

Little Things

I am amazed at how good the nice cool weather makes me feel today. I was thinking how nice it is and enjoying it when it dawned on me that "God provides" it. So I need to take time to be grateful.

Yesterday, the chaplain, in his homily, suggested we reflect on the various titles for Mary in the litany. I thought about "Virgin, Most Faithful" because I had a do list a mile long and was anxious about accomplishing it. The title reminded me that accomplishment might not be within my control but fidelity was. I labored all day, didn't finish, but recall that I was faithful.

Today I think I will focus on "Comforter of the Afflicted" because one of the sisters in my community has been at the hospital all day yesterday with her nephew who had brain surgery. I want to remember him and pray for him. So, Comforter of the Afflicted, care for Jamie today.

New Beginnings

Time to prepare for the openning of another year of teaching. I love to think of meeting all the new students. There is so much life on campus, so many faces, so much hope, so much energy. I love it and look forward to it. Preparing the syllabi is another issue. But it gets done. I pray for a year of grace.

Come, Holy Spirit

The gospel readings for a few days now are about Jesus' announcement that he is going and that he will send the Spirit to be with his followers. I have never been so struck before with how wonderful this promise is. While Jesus' physical presence would be wonderful, the Spirit actually becomes the source of our life. We are moved by this Spirit, breath the breathe of this Spirit, are motivated by this Spirit, are led by this Spirit. I am praying for an abundant outpouring of this Spirit so that I will truly live the life of Christ. I am praying for you too. How would you like this Spirit to lead you? What it is you ask this Pentecost as you await being filled with the Spirit?

Anything You Ask

"If you ask anything in my name, I will do it." I am always excited by this statement of Jesus and I invariably begin to ask. I do not always get what I have asked in the form that I expect it. Then I wonder if I have not asked properly, if I do not recognize the answer, or if the promise is not true.


Today I read a reflection on the passage which pointed out that the Greek text has "you" in the plural. It is what we ask as a community of believers that will be granted. Which brings me to the topic of discernment. Often when I ask for clarity about my call, I do it in my own private and personal prayer. Sometimes I even get into a vicious circle in my mind and in my prayer--going round and round and making no progress on the path of my discernment. Perhaps, what is needed at such moments is community prayer. Praying together with others and sharing faith with them is an essential part of discernment. In speaking my questions, I may hear something new that I did not recognize when I was praying alone. In listening to others praying and sharing, I may hear God speak a new word to me. I may, as the disciples asked earlier of Jesus "see the Father."


A discernment suggestion--join a group to pray and share faith together. Then listen.

Receiving the One Sent

"Whoever receives the one I sent receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me" (John 13:20). These words from today's gospel remind us to be aware of all those who enter our life today. They are sent. How will I receive those sent to me today? To receive them is to receive Christ and the Father. There are many options. Love, openness, hospitality are called for.

Shepherds

John's gospel has a couple stories about shepherds. One is about a good shepherd who goes (recklessly) in search of lost sheep and the other is about how intimately the shepherd knows his sheep and how trusting the sheep are of his love and care.

The shepherd knows each of his sheep by name. That is such a moving thought. God knows me by name, Jesus knows me by name--knows me intimately and still loves and cares for me. When I imagine the shepherd calling a sheep by its name and see the sheep responding, I long for the same kind of a trusting relationhship with God. I imagine the sound of the voice that loves me unconditionally and I long to recognize that voice calling me each moment of my day.

Discernment entails hearing and trusting. It involves knowing how I am loved so that I can respond without fear. Prayer helps me grow in trust and awareness.